In his “Thought for the Day” Shri Easwaran explains the root cause why one gets angry and provides a simple method for safely dealing with that anger. It is a useful message to help us managing our anger and avoid hurting others. However, I believe this explanation and understanding of the root cause is more important for our own good than others that we might hurt and our relationship with them. I have included the messaghe from Shri Easwaran below.
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
– AMBROSE BIERCE
When we get tense, it is easiest to vent our frustration by making cracks at our children, our wife, or our husband – it is a simple matter of geographic proximity. When we attack other people, when we become a source of trouble to others, it is not because we want to add to their trouble; we have just become an object of trouble to ourselves. When we are agitated, when we are ready to burst out in anger against others, the immediate solution is to go for a long walk repeating the mantram.
In the ultimate analysis, our resentments and hostilities are not against others. They are against our own alienation from our native state, which is cosmic consciousness, Christ-consciousness, Krishna-consciousness. All the time we are being nudged by some latent force within us, trying to remind us what our native state is.